In New Jersey, divorced parents have both physical and legal custody arrangements. Physical custody determines which parent the child lives with the majority of the time. Legal custody refers to the right to make decisions about the child’s upbringing, including matters of health care, education, and religious affiliation. If one parent has sole legal custody, it means that parent makes all the decisions pertaining to those matters. In the case of two fit parents, New Jersey family courts tend to favor arrangements where both parents share joint legal custody, meaning that both have equal input on these issues. It’s in the latter case where problems can arise when parents don’t see eye-to-eye.

Local public school districts in the state are in the process of deciding whether students will return to in-person classes this fall, attend class remotely via computer, or a hybrid of both. The issue has sparked controversy and debate across the state and country, with many families feeling strongly that their children should be in the classroom, and others feeling just as strongly that it’s unsafe to send their kids back to school while the disease is continuing to spread.

The Statewide Situation Is Still in Flux

The state government had reportedly planned to have all 600 of its school districts return to some form of in-person learning in the fall, with no all-remote options; however, schools that can’t meet all of the state’s safety guidelines for reopening in time for the start will be allowed to go all-remote.

Several districts in northern New Jersey including Passaic, Elizabeth, Jersey City and Bayonne have announced they will begin the year with an all-remote schedule. It is believed that most school districts will offer a combination of in-person and remote teaching, but parents who choose to will still be able to keep their children home full time.

Then there are the issues faced by parents who must work and can’t be home with their kids all day. Adequate technology to support at-home school attendance is another challenge for many.

Before a divorce is finalized, parents are required to work out a parenting plan that determines how much time the child will spend with each parent. In New Jersey, children may attend school in districts where they live at least 50 percent of the time. If parents split physical custody 50-50 and live in different school districts, then the child may attend school in either one.

A Respected Bergen County Family Lawyer Can Help

Normally the sole consideration when deciding on a school is the child’s educational needs. But when it comes to Covid-19, there are health implications for not only your child or children, but for you as well. If you and your former spouse clash over whether your child should attend school virtually or in-person, a reputable family law attorney may be able to help you come to a mutually acceptable agreement without the need to get a court involved.

If an agreement can’t be reached, one or the other parent can request a hearing before a family court judge. Many New Jersey court hearings are being conducted virtually now.

The child custody and parenting attorneys at Aretsky Law Group P.C. have abundant experience helping divorced and divorcing parents negotiate parenting plans and work out their differences. Call us today for a free, no-obligation consultation.

What is a Prenuptial Agreement?

A prenuptial agreement is a popular way to safeguard your assets and financial security in the event of a divorce. Prenuptial agreements protect a variety of pre-marital assets including real estate, investment accounts, trusts, and foreign assets. Notably, if a couple is seeking a prenuptial agreement in the state of New Jersey, both parties must disclose all assets and obtain independent legal counsel.

The primary benefit that prenuptial agreements provide is less litigation in the case of a divorce. Prenuptial agreements can also help the family of one spouse in the event that there are shared assets such as a family business.

Who Should Pursue a Prenuptial Agreement?

A prenuptial agreement is highly recommended for certain people. For example, if you own a business, expect to inherit a sizeable amount of money, have/earn significantly more than your spouse, or are marrying somebody with significant debts, pursuing a prenuptial agreement may be in your best interest.

Concerns with Prenuptial Agreements

Many couples are against prenuptial agreements because they feel that it may impact their marriage long-term. However, prenuptial agreements are highly customizable to the specific couple. In New Jersey, many couples decide to opt for a “sunset clause” which enables them to void the agreement after a certain duration of married time has passed.

If you decide not to pursue a prenuptial agreement, high-asset divorces can become particularly intensive to litigate.

One of the primary causes of conflict during a divorce is the distribution of marital property. In other words, the distribution must be equitable, or fair, but it does not have to be equal.

It is very important that you understand the difference between separate property and marital property. In general, property that you owned before you were married or after you or your spouse filed for divorce is separate property. Property bought while you were married and before either of you filed for divorce is marital property. However, there are a few exceptions. In addition to property bought before the marriage or after the filing for divorce, there are two types of property that are excluded from equitable distribution:

• gifts intended for one spouse only that were not given by the other spouse and
• an inheritance specifically left to one spouse.

Inevitably, equitable and fair distribution of marital assets becomes much more clear if a prenuptial agreement is filed.

How to Pursue a Prenuptial Agreement

If a prenuptial agreement seems like something that could benefit you and your family, the first step is to reach out a reputable New Jersey attorney. Here are some general considerations to make when deciding on an attorney to represent you:

• is accessible
• shows compassion to your family
• is experienced in both negotiation and litigation
• offers a valuable initial consultation
• has the best interest of you and your future spouse

The next step is to schedule an initial consultation with your attorney in order to begin formulating a comprehensive prenuptial plan for your fam

Requirements for Filing for a New Jersey Divorce

If you and your spouse have decided to divorce and have a reasonably amicable relationship, you might be tempted to get a “do-it-yourself (DIY) divorce.” Maybe you’ve seen the internet packages that offer the possibility of a quick, inexpensive way to end your marriage. The prospect of proceeding without attorney fees are enticing, but in most cases, a DIY divorce is not recommended. The main reason is this: You don’t know what you don’t know!

No matter what type of divorce you seek, there are two basic requirements that must be met in New Jersey:

1. At least one of the spouses must have resided in the state for at least a year before the first party files for divorce.
2. The party who files must state a ground, or legal cause, for wanting to dissolve the marriage.

New Jersey Do-It-Yourself Divorce: Not for Most Couples

Only a few couples are good candidates for a DIY divorce. A New Jersey DIY divorce might be right for you…

• if you and your spouse agree on child custody issues;
• if you both agree to a detailed parenting plan;
• if you both agree on how to equitably distribute marital property;
• if you are sure you have complete information about assets and liabilities;
• if you understand how to deal with retirement accounts;
• if you agree on who is to be head of household and other tax issues;
• if you have time to research NJ divorce law; and
• if both spouses have the temperament to deal with each other and the issues unemotionally.

As you can see, there are a lot of “ifs!” Even if the two of you get along well and want to do what is fair, mistakes can be made that will hurt you years later. If you don’t know what you don’t know, then it is impossible to be sure that you have covered all of your bases! And once you sign that agreement, you may not be able to correct your errors and omissions. This can be especially important if your ex later remarries and develops new priorities.

Other Options

If you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse have a mutual desire to dissolve your marriage and agree on most important issues, there are other cost-effective and time-saving ways to proceed.

Uncontested Divorce

An uncontested divorce is possible when the couple agrees on child custody, parenting, child support, alimony, distribution of property, and other pertinent issues. If the parties disagree on any major issue, then the divorce will not be uncontested.

In an uncontested divorce, the party filing will likely choose a no-fault ground. In New Jersey the two no-fault grounds are irreconcilable differences and an 18-month separation.

Even when both parties are in total agreement, it is advisable for each to have an attorney draft or at least read the document to ensure that their rights and interests are protected.

Divorce Mediation in New Jersey

Mediation is another way to resolve issues without involving litigation. The couple attempts to resolve issues with the assistance of an impartial mediator, who may or may not also be an attorney.

Court-Ordered Mediation

In New Jersey the courts often order the spouses to try to resolve their disagreements through mediation. There are two types of court-ordered mediation:

• Mediation of Child-Custody and Parenting Issues
• Mediation of Economic Issues

Private Mediation

Some couples decide to resolve some or all of their issues through private mediation. Things that are discussed in mediation are confidential, and decisions are non-binding. Once an agreement is reached, the mediator drafts a Memorandum of Understanding. Even if your mediator was an attorney, you must choose a different attorney to draft or check this agreement.

Mediation itself is not a legal process. Your document will not be enforceable until both spouses sign the agreement.

Collaborative Divorce in New Jersey

Collaborative divorce is similar in many ways to mediation. Like mediation, it requires that the spouses are willing to cooperate and are able to communicate without too much emotion. The difference is that in a collaborative divorce, each spouse hires a NJ divorce lawyer(for non litigation purposes only) to be with him or her throughout the process.

Case Analysis From a Seasoned New Jersey Divorce Attorney

The divorce process is more complex than most realize. Generally speaking, a DIY divorce is only recommended if the couple has no children and few assets and if they have only been married a few years.

Even when both parties want the divorce and the two seem to agree on most issues, unexpected complications often arise. It is crucial that you make yourself aware of all the possible pitfalls before embarking on the process of a do-it-yourself divorce!

Simple, careless mistakes can have costly repercussions in the future. And as previously stated, “You don’t know what you don’t know,” and that can hurt you!

An experienced New Jersey divorce lawyer will analyze your unique situation and guide you through the complicated process. A seasoned attorney can use his or her expertise and knowledge of New Jersey divorce law to ensure that all possibilities are addressed and that your rights and interests are protected.

Disclaimer: This article is not intended to provide legal advice. If you have a question involving divorce or family law, contact a qualified New Jersey attorney.

Case Analysis With an Experienced Divorce Attorney From Aretsky Law Group, P.C. If you are contemplating divorce or have been served with divorce papers, the trusted attorneys at Aretsky Law Group, P.C., can help. Call us 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 1-800-537-4154 for your initial consultation.

Divorce is often contentious. When one of the parties harbors feelings of anger and betrayal, then it can lead to some degree of parental alienation. When that behavior becomes obsessive, true parental alienation occurs and can endanger the relationship with your child. If you suspect that your child is intentionally being driven away from you, then you need the assistance of a New Jersey parental alienation lawyer.

While New Jersey judges vary in the way they treat parental alienation, they do all agree that it is usually in a child’s best interests to maintain a positive relationship with both parents. Your Aretsky Law Group, P.C., parental alienation attorney will do all that is necessary to protect your child custody and parenting time rights.

What Is Parental Alienation?

Parental alienation occurs when one parent denigrates the other in a conscious attempt to get the child on her side and to deliberately destroy the child’s relationship with his or her other parent. Although the alienator can be either parent—or even a friend or relative—it is usually the custodial parent, more often the mother.

Parental alienation can be harmful not only to the alienated parent, but to the child as well.

Degrees of Alienation

Many experts categorize alienators into three types of offenders: Naive, or Mild; Active, or Moderate; and Obsessive, or Severe. Children can usually cope with the first two types of behavior without being unduly influenced. It is the last category that is cause for concern.

Naive, or Mild, Alienators

Many divorced parents fall into this category from time to time. A naive alienator knows that it is best if the child has a good relationship with both parents and usually does all that is necessary to encourage it; however, occasionally this parent makes a disparaging remark about the other and is overheard by the child.

Active, or Moderate, Alienators

Like the mild alienator, the moderate alienator also understands that the child would benefit from a good relationship with his or her other parent. Sometimes, however, this parent may lash out at her ex-spouse in the child’s presence. Moderate alienators might feel sorry afterwards, but in spite of this regret, their feelings of anger take over and cause them to speak or act impulsively.

Obsessive, or Severe, Alienators

The obsessed alienator is consumed by anger and resentment. These feelings lead to fanatic behavior with the ultimate goal of destroying the child’s relationship with his or her other parent.

Behaviors Exhibited by Obsessive Alienators

You may be a victim of parental alienation if your ex-spouse regularly…

• denies access your child’s medical records;
• prevents telephone contact with the child;
• interferes with your court-ordered parenting time;
• makes denigrating comments about you in front of your child;
• tells your child that you are to blame for their financial problems;
• tells your child that you are to blame for their having to move;
• encourages the child to take her side in an argument;
• acts hurt or betrayed when your child does spend time with you;
• questions your child to get information about your personal life; and
• exaggerates your shortcomings.

Behaviors Exhibited by Children of Obsessive Alienators

It might be reason to wonder whether or not intentional alienation is occurring if your child…

• refuses to spend time with you;
• acts fearful when told he or she has to visit you;
• blames you for their financial problems and/or the need to move;
• always take your ex’s side in an argument between you and your ex; and
• acts in a protective manner towards his or her other parent.

What You Can Do to Improve the Situation

Whether you are truly a victim of alienation or your child is just having a difficult time adjusting to the drastic changes in his or her life, it is important that you do everything possible to rebuild your relationship.

These are some things you can do to reassure your child that you love him or her and that your divorce is a separate issue:

• Show up for scheduled parenting time even if your child refuses to see you.
• Maintain contact with your child: email, text, phone, etc.
• Acknowledge birthdays and other occasions.
• Keep aware of your child’s school work; attend parent-teacher conferences.
• Attend school concerts, plays, sporting events, and other activities.
• Stand up for yourself and correct misconceptions when appropriate.
• Refrain from making negative comments to your child about your ex.

Contact a New Jersey Parental Alienation Attorney

If you suspect that your child is being purposefully alienated from you or if you have any other child custody or parenting time issues, call our offices and speak to one of our New Jersey divorce and family law attorneys. The courts do not take interference with the parental relationship lightly, and we will fight to protect your rights.

Contact Aretsky Law Group, P.C., and set up your Consultation. Let us help you set up a strategy to fight for your rights and protect your relationship with your child.

Call us 24/7 at 1-800-537-4154 to discuss your case.

After months of careful consideration—and procrastination—you decide that divorce is really what you want. You meet with an experienced New Jersey divorce lawyer. After confirming that you have lived in the state for more than 12 months, your attorney then asks you if you have thought about what ground you want to use as your cause of action. When you seem unsure, he explains your options.

Grounds for Divorce in New Jersey There are both fault and non-fault grounds for divorce.

Non-Fault Grounds Your attorney tells you that there are two non-fault grounds in New Jersey: irreconcilable differences and a separation of at least 18 months.

Fault Grounds He adds that there are several fault grounds: adultery, abandonment, deviant sexual behavior, extreme mental or physical cruelty, substance addiction, imprisonment, and institutionalization.

Not wanting to place blame on your spouse and not having lived apart for 18 months, you choose irreconcilable differences. Your lawyer tells you that this is what most New Jersey couples select.

Complaint for Divorce

The next step you take is the completion of a Complaint for Divorce. In doing so, you provide facts about you, your spouse, your children, the date and place of your marriage, the ground for divorce, and other pertinent information.

With the assistance of your New Jersey divorce attorney, you prepare the necessary paperwork that will be submitted with your Complaint: the Confidential Litigant Sheet, the Certification of Insurance Coverage, and the Complementary Dispute Resolution notice.

Confidential Litigant Sheet: This sheet requires dates of birth, social security numbers, and other confidential information that will not go into public divorce records.

Certification of Insurance Coverage: You must provide detailed information about all types of insurance. This is to protect both parties from changes being made during the divorce process.

Complementary Dispute Resolution: The CDR is a waiver certifying that you have been made aware of out-of-court means of resolution, such as arbitration and mediation.

Your forms completed, you file your paperwork with the clerk’s office and pay the fee. (This fee can be waived if it would be an economic hardship.)

Serving Your Spouse with the Complaint for Divorce

The Complaint has been processed and you have received your copy of it marked “Filed.” Copies of all the paperwork have been made, and the time has come to serve your spouse with the divorce papers.

Depending upon your relationship with your spouse, you will send the material in one of 3 ways:

• through the sheriff’s office;
• by certified mail; or
• through your spouse’s attorney.

You do not know that name of your spouse’s attorney, so your attorney sends the papers via certified mail. He explains that your spouse has been advised to respond within 35 days and that you can expect that response to take one of several forms.

Possible Responses

1. File an Answer – The defendant—your spouse—either agrees or disagrees with the statement made in the Complaint by the plaintiff—you.
2. File an Appearance – The defendant does not object to the divorce itself, but does object to one or more specific provisions, such as those regarding alimony, child support, or child custody.
3. File a Counterclaim – Your spouse may respond by asserting a ground for the divorce. In this scenario, an Answer & Counterclaim will be filed.
4. No Response – It is possible that your spouse will not even acknowledge being served with the Complaint for Divorce. Thereafter, you will be permitted to proceed by default.

Your Spouse Does not Respond: Requesting a Default Judgment

Suppose the 35 days have passed and your spouse still has not responded. You have 60 days to request a default judgment of divorce.

In New Jersey it is possible for you to dissolve the marriage even if your spouse does not respond when served with a Complaint for Divorce. The judge can grant a default judgment of divorce.

When you request a default hearing, the first thing you must do is prove these facts to the court:

• that your spouse was served with the Complaint of Divorce;
• that your spouse is not serving in the military; and
• that your spouse did not respond to that petition.

If you are granted a default hearing, New Jersey law requires that you inform your spouse of the date.

Information to Provide

If your spouse has not responded, then the judge will have to depend on the financial and other information you present. There is more paperwork than you imagined, but your New Jersey divorce lawyer makes it easier.

These are among the issues that must be addressed:

• assets and debts:
• child support;
• spousal support;
• custody/parenting time; and
• equitable distribution of marital property.

Even in a default hearing, the judge must be convinced that the judgment is fair, and it will be up to you—with the help of your NJ divorce lawyer—to make your case.

Contact a New Jersey Divorce Attorney

The decision to divorce is a difficult one. Of course, it is easier if you and your spouse have come to a mutual decision to end your marriage. However, this is not always the case, and in New Jersey divorce is possible even when only one spouse wants it.

The issues involved in a divorce are very complicated. It is important to have the assistance of a highly skilled New Jersey divorce attorney who knows New Jersey family law and who will be able to analyze your unique situation and guide you through the process step by step.

Are you contemplating the dissolution of your marriage? Has your spouse unexpectedly served you with divorce papers? If you answered, “Yes,” to either of these questions, then the experienced New Jersey divorce and family law attorneys at Aretsky Law Group, P.C., can help. For an initial consultation, call us 24/7 at 800-537-4154.

In a recent ruling Judge Jones of the Ocean County Superior Court affirmed that under certain circumstances the Court can deviate from New Jersey’s Child Support Guidelines when calculating child support. Among the reasons for deviation allowed by the Guidelines is a child’s giftedness in a particular area.

The case in question was P.S. v. J.S., with P.S. being the father-plaintiff and J.S. being the mother-defendant. They had joint legal custody of their 13-year-old daughter, to whom the judge gave the pseudonym Julie. The mother had primary physical custody, but the father enjoyed liberal parenting time.

Julie had an intense interest in acting, and both parents encouraged these pursuits. However, they did not agree as to who should be responsible for the extra costs incurred because of her interest.

Both J.S. and P.S. had modest incomes although P.S. earned more. P.S. believed that Julie’s acting activities were already taken into consideration when the Court determined that his child support payment would be $113 per week. J.S. maintained that she needed all of that just to provide for their daughter’s basic needs. She asked that the Court raise that amount to cover half of the expenses related to Julie’s acting.

Can a Child’s Special Talent Be a Factor in Child Support?

Judge Jones considered the following factors when making his determination:

1. In most cases a child’s extra-curricular activities are included when using the New Jersey Child Support Guidelines to calculate the amount of child support.
2. The Guidelines specifically allow for deviation for various reasons. One of those reasons is “giftedness.”
3. A child’s giftedness may relate to academics, athletics, technology, or the arts; however, it is not limited to these.
4. Even if the Court determines that the child is gifted, additional funds to foster that gift must be economically reasonable and the parents’ financial situations should be considered.

Child’s Giftedness May Be Considered

The judge noted that giftedness, especially in the arts, can be very subjective and must be analyzed on a case-by-case basis. In the process of deciding whether or not Julie’s interest in acting rose to the level of giftedness, Judge Jones relied on impressions he had as the result of interviewing Julie on a few occasions. He determined that she was, in fact, gifted, basing his decision on her “inherently extraordinary drive, desire, focus and commitment.”

The Court ordered that unless J.S. and P.S. mutually agreed to a different amount, each parent would pay $250 per year to cover the added expenses related to Julie’s acting activities. The judge noted that he would have ordered that P.S. pay a larger portion, but J.S. had only asked that her ex cover half of the expense; therefore, he divided the amount equally.

Many children participate in several extra-curricular activities. Judge Jones stressed that his ruling should not be seen as a requirement for a parent to pay for just any activity a child likes.

There are many factors that are considered when a calculation of child support is made. A qualified New Jersey Child Support attorney can help you understand your rights and obligations.

The following questions are similar to those often posed by our clients.

Divorce and Income Tax: Frequently Asked Questions

Question #1: I filed for divorce in 2016, but our divorce was not final until early 2017. Should I file as married or single?

Answer: Your marital status on December 31 of the tax year determines your filing status for the entire year. You have a choice of filing a joint return or a separate one; however, in either case, your status would be “married.”

Question #2: My ex and I both want to file as head of household. Can we both claim this status? What are the requirements?

Answer: Only one of you can file as head of household. In order to file as head of household you must meet these two requirements:

• You were responsible for more than half of the upkeep on your home for the year in question.

• You had a qualified child or other dependent living with you for more than six months of that calendar year.

Question #3: What are the benefits of filing as head of household?

Answer: The head of household is entitled to a larger standard deduction and, therefore, possibly a lower tax rate and/or a better chance of getting a refund.

Question #4: My ex-spouse and I have joint custody of our child. Who can declare him as a dependent? Can we split the exemption?

Answer: According to IRS law, the custodial parent gets to declare the child as a dependent. If you share custody, then the parent with whom the child spent the most nights is entitled to the exemption. Only one parent can claim the exemption in any given year. The exemption may not be split.

Question #5: My ex-spouse and I agreed to alternate taking the dependency exemption when we file our income tax return. Will the IRS accept this?

Answer: Even if your property settlement agreement or divorce judgment calls for this or any other arrangement, the IRS may not allow it unless the custodial parent fills out Form 8332 and attaches it to his or her income tax return. This form is a “Release of Claim to Exemption for Child of Divorced or Separated Parents.”

Question #6: I receive child support from my ex. Is this taxable income?

Answer: No, money received as child support is not taxable income, and child support payments are not tax deductible.

Question #7: Are my alimony payments tax deductible?

Answer: Yes, spousal support, or alimony, payments are tax deductible, but it is necessary to have the amount clearly stated in your divorce agreement.

Question #8: Do I have to pay taxes on money received as alimony?

Answer: Yes, money received as alimony is considered taxable income. Your ex must provide your social security number with his or her income tax return.

Question #9: Do I have to pay income tax on the assets I receive from equitable distribution of our marital property?

Answer: No, these are not considered new assets. However, if you later sell one of those assets, such as a stock portfolio, a piece of real estate, or a home, there may be tax consequences at that time. A qualified New Jersey divorce attorney can help you understand what is best for you at the time of your negotiation.

Question #10: I may have to cash out my 401(k) in order to pay my ex-spouse what was decided in our equitable distribution agreement. Will I have to pay a tax on this money?

Answer: The answer is yes, but…. You can avoid paying this tax if you transfer the money to your ex under a QDRO, or Qualified Domestic Relations Order, which gives your ex-spouse the right to the funds.

Question #11: As part of our equitable distribution agreement, I must transfer some funds from my IRA to my ex. Do I need a QDRO?

Answer: No, a QDRO is not necessary with an IRA; however, be sure that your agreement specifies the reason for this transfer.

Question #12: May I deduct payments made to my divorce lawyer on my tax return?

Answer: You may not deduct legal fees. On the other hand, you may deduct payments made to your attorney for tax advice pertaining to your divorce or for help getting or collecting alimony.

Preparing and filing your income tax return and dealing with divorce are both difficult. Taken together, the result can be overwhelming. Consulting a knowledgeable divorce attorney who works with financial experts can go a long way towards alleviating the stress.

This article is not meant to provide legal or financial advice. Contact the experienced New Jersey divorce and equitable distribution attorneys at Aretsky Law Group, P.C. They can answer your questions about divorce and taxes, equitable distribution of marital property, and other important issues.

Retirement Assets

New Jersey is an equitable distribution state. That means that when a couple divorces, marital property is divided equitably, or fairly, but not necessarily equally. In general, retirement assets are subject to equitable distribution. However, contributions made before the marriage took place or after a divorce complaint is filed may be excluded. This also applies to any interest earned on these contributions.

ERISA

Some types of retirement accounts are subject to the Employment Retirement Income Security Act, or ERISA. This federal law sets minimum standards for most voluntarily established private-sector pension and health plans. Its purpose was to protect individuals in these plans. Most corporate accounts, such as 401k plans, fall into this category.

QDROs

Funds from retirement assets based on plans covered by ERISA can be distributed to a former spouse only if a QDRO is ordered by the court and approved by the plan administrator.

When entered as part of the equitable distribution of marital property in a divorce or legal separation, the QDRO specifies how the account is valued and exactly what the former spouse’s share of the assets will be. In some cases the recipient will be able to take that share immediately and roll the money over into his or her own retirement account (IRA). In other cases the former spouse might have to wait until retirement actually occurs.

Think Long Term

When you are going through a divorce, retirement may seem to be in the distant future. You may be tempted to give up retirement assets in exchange for another marital asset, such as your home. Be sure to consider all factors, such as the return on those investments, before making any decision. Giving up your share of retirement assets can have an adverse effect on your future finances.

When retirement and other substantial assets are involved, it is important that you obtain the advice of an experienced New Jersey divorce lawyer.

Do you have questions about retirement assets, QDROs, equitable division of marital property, or other divorce issues? The experienced equitable distribution attorneys at Aretsky Law Group, P.C., can answer your questions.

C.G. v. E.G.

C.G., the plaintiff, petitioned the court to serve her estranged husband, E.G., with a final restraining order.

Background Information

After collecting social security disability benefits, C.G. was able to return to her former job as a waitress in a restaurant. According to her testimony, as soon as E.G. learned that she was about to resume her career, he began sending her emails in which he threatened to call her employer and get her fired if she went back to work.

E.G. followed through on his threat and actually did visit her place of employment. As C.G. explained to the court, he also phoned her employer and her employer’s wife. Although there was no evidence that what he was saying was true, E.G. told the wife that her husband and C.G. were having an affair.

The plaintiff also described her estranged husband’s past behavior. She told the court that he often called her degrading names and even punched her in the face, leaving her with a black eye.

The defendant did not admit guilt, but neither did he offer any credible defense nor alternative description of what had occurred.

Issuance of Final Restraining Order

In making the decision whether or not to grant the plaintiff’s request, Judge Jones took several factors into consideration.

He referred to the offenses described in New Jersey’s Prevention of Domestic Violence Act of 1990, which listed fourteen behaviors that should be classified as domestic violence offenses when acted against a spouse: homicide, assault, terroristic threats, kidnapping, criminal restraint, false imprisonment, sexual assault, criminal sexual contact, lewdness, criminal mischief, burglary, criminal trespass, harassment, and stalking. In August 2015, a fifteenth was added in an amendment: coercion.

The judge decided in favor of the plaintiff citing harassment and coercion as the principal offenses on which his decision was based as well as the right to be left alone.

Harassment

In deciding that harassment was a factor, the judge first reasoned that the threat of losing one’s job—and with it one’s economic stability and security—is an obvious source of fear and anxiety.

He cited these behaviors as evidence of harassment:

• Sending emails threatening to call place of employment to get her fired.
• Visiting his spouse’s place of employment with the intent to get her fired.
• Phoning C.G.’s employer to embarrass her and to interfere with her job.

The judge noted that there are times when visiting a place of employment may be necessary, when it is done with the sole intent to interfere with the party economically, then it should be deemed harassment.

Coercion

The court concluded that the defendant’s behavior constituted coercion. The definition of coercion in the amendment to the Domestic Violence Act includes the following two categories of threats:

• expose a secret…to impair credit or business repute;
• perform an act…calculated to harm… career, financial condition….

Right to Be Left Alone

Judge Jones also considered the fact that the New Jersey Supreme Court recognizes the right of a victim of abuse to be left alone. He expressed the belief that interfering with the right to be left alone while trying to perform one’s basic job requirements shows a real lack of regard of the victim.

Conclusion

Judge Jones concluded that the preponderance of evidence supported the plaintiff’s claims. In his statement explaining why he was issuing the final restraining order as per the plaintiff’s request, he included the following statement: “There are arguably few threats more potentially harassing and coercive than threatening one’s livelihood and employment.”

If your child is showing unwarranted fear, disrespect, or hostility, you might suspect that your ex is turning him or her against you. However, that might not be the cause.

Divorce—especially when there is a lot of conflict—causes a lot of stress. It can be especially difficult for children. They know their lives will change, but they are not sure how. Children react to that uncertainty in different ways.

Is Your Spouse Influencing Your Child?

Most experts agree that it is usually best for a child to have a good relationship with both parents. Parents, therefore, are advised not to say negative things about the other.

However, even a well-intentioned parent slips from time to time and makes a negative remark that the child overhears.

That same parent might even knowingly make an occasional disparaging remark in front of the child. Most children can deal with these behaviors.

Real parental alienation occurs when one parent—usually the custodial parent—intentionally turns a child against the other. It can harm the child as well as the targeted parent.

Signs of True Parental Alienation

The goal of parental alienation is to manipulate the child to be on his or her side in all matters. The guilty party wants to destroy the child’s relationship with the other parent. In order to reach this goal, the offender uses several tactics:

• regularly “bad mouths” the other parent;

• exaggerates mistakes made by the other parent;

• blames the other parent for financial and other problems, such as having to move;

• encourages the child to take sides in arguments; and

• exhibits other behaviors intended to damage the child’s relationship with the other

parent.

What to Do If Your Child Refuses to Spend Time with You

Your ex-spouse may be encouraging your child to refuse to spend time with you. On the other hand, your child may just be having difficulty dealing with his or her new situation. In either case, you can try to improve your relationship. Here are some ways you can show your child that you care:

• Maintain contact. Regularly call, email, text, and/or write letters to your child.

• Remember your child’s birthday and other special dates.

• Attend your child’s school and community events.

• Contact your child’s school or other organization. Ask to be notified of events.

• Show up for parenting time even if your child refuses to go with you.

• Do not say negative things about your ex-spouse.

Contact a Knowledgeable Parental Alienation Lawyer

If you think you are a victim of parental alienation, contact an experienced New Jersey divorce attorney. If the best interests of the child are threatened, it is possible that an evaluation can be ordered. If necessary, changes in parenting time or custody may be requested.

Of course, sometimes unfounded charges of parental alienation are made. If you find yourself in this situation, it is vital that you obtain the assistance of a New Jersey parental alienation lawyer to help you challenge false and inaccurate allegations.

Do you have questions about parental alienation, parenting time, or other child custody issues. The experienced New Jersey divorce and family law attorneys at Aretsky Law Group, P.C., can help. Call us 24/7 at 800-537-4154.

NJ Temporary Restraining Orders

The first step one should take if he or she feels like a victim of domestic violence is to file for a temporary restraining order.

Unlike permanent restraining orders, temporary restraining orders are relatively easy to obtain. This can be done by going to the Family Division of the Superior Court of the county or to the local police station and petitioning the order. Although the victim is required to detail the abuse both orally and in writing, there is no requirement to prove the allegations at this point. The court can issue the temporary order if it believes the petitioner’s claims are credible and that the behaviors fall within the guidelines of domestic violence.

NJ Permanent Restraining Orders

About ten days after a temporary protective order is issued, a hearing is held to determine whether or not the issuance of a permanent order is warranted.

For the issuance to occur, the victim must now prove that harassment or abuse actually occurred and that it is reasonable for the victim to fear for his or her safety.

For this hearing the victim must testify under oath and the abuser may also testify. Confronting the abuser is often difficult for the victim of domestic violence. A compassionate attorney can help get you through the process and present the case regarding the need for protection.

What a Restraining Order Might Include

The following are some of the specific restrictions a restraining order might include: • to stay away from the victim;
• to stay away from the victim’s children;
• not to visit the victim’s home;

• not to visit the victim’s place of employment;
• not to visit the children’s school; and
• if the court believes there is a threat to the victim’s life or safety, not to possess a firearm.

Duration of NJ Temporary Restraining Order

The initial, temporary order remains in effect until the next hearing, at which time it may or may not become permanent.

The permanent order is, as its name implies, permanent. However, the victim can petition the court at a future date to withdraw the order. If convinced that the request to withdraw the order is being made without coercion or threats, the court can dismiss the complaint.

Penalties for Violating a Restraining Order

Restraining orders are issued in family court. Violations of such orders are also heard in family court. Contempt of court is subject to both fines and jail time.

The experienced New Jersey domestic violence attorneys at Aretsky Law Group, P.C., can offer the advice and expertise to help victims of domestic abuse get the help they need in the form of a permanent restraining order that protects them and those close to them.

We are available 24/7 to take your call. Phone us at 800-537-4154.